Thursday, May 09, 2013

The Do-gooder

Picture courtesy: Morguefile
I stood in the lobby of the Emergency ward of the hospital. Just a few moments ago there was a wild commotion about this place. Now there was a stillness. Did that mean it was all over? My heart beat in trepidation.

A nurse looked out through the door. Her uniform was crumpled, and there was a tired look in her eyes. “You brought the hit-and-run patient in? He’s responded well to surgery, but the danger is not yet over. Let’s hope for the best.”

I smiled my thanks. She didn’t need to tell me to hope for the best. I’d been agonising over the outcome all day. Ever since I had lifted his bleeding body and put it in the backseat of my truck. He had been cruising a little below the speed limit and someone had knocked him from behind. His car turned turtle, once or twice, I don’t know. It threshed and shuddered and then fell silent, like a huge balloon suddenly deflated. All around cars were honking madly and in the ensuing confusion, the disciplined four-lane traffic went haywire. Some cars sped away, skipping nimbly out of the mess in the nick of time.

I could have gone too, but I didn’t. There was so much confusion. No one was thinking straight. I volunteered to drive him to the hospital.

He was losing blood. I tried not to think of the upholstery. I could tell he was sinking.

Fortunately it was a good hospital, and the attendants were ready when I charged into the driveway. Someone must have called to let them know we were coming. He was wheeled in. I waited, trying to calm the storm within me.

The hours passed. The clock on the wall behind the reception desk kept time. The 14-inch TV was turned on mute. I gave up trying to decipher the happenings onscreen. By this time, the police must have found his papers in the glove compartment of the mangled car. They’d know his identity – if the papers were genuine. I doubted it. He didn’t look like he owned the car. A stolen one maybe. But the blood that was spilled was his for sure.

The telephone on the reception desk let out a shrill cry. Answering the phone, the elderly receptionist looked at me. I strained my ears to hear what she was saying. She put the phone down, and slowly turned to me, clearly relishing the fact that I was waiting with bated breath. Some people are clearly starved for real-life drama.

She said, “The patient you brought in has succumbed to his injuries.” She added, “I’m sorry,” matter-of-factly, which meant she wasn’t sorry in the least.

That was fine with me. I wasn’t about to grieve either.

The phone in my pocket rang, showing an unknown caller. “You’re a sorry excuse for a hit-man. The deal’s off.” the voice barked.

“No, it’s not,” I smiled. “He’s dead now.”

Write Tribe Prompt
(This story was written for the Write Tribe - Prompt 1)


  1. Excellent the way you kept a bit of suspense till the end.

  2. Wow! I would have never guessed that ending!!

  3. Whoa! What a twist at the end.. amazingly well written :)

  4. Thank you, Kajal, this was my first attempt at responding to a picture prompt. And I really had fun doing it.

  5. Thank you, Melody. Now I feel charged to write more stuff like this.

  6. Bhavya, thank you. That means a lot, coming from a master story teller like you.

  7. Oh my! What a twist! Liked it, Cynthia :)

  8. Wow. I didn't see that coming. Good job.

  9. aii!! I didn't see that kind of Ending!!
    Scary, chilling and so very well written!! :)

  10. Wonderful twist. GOod stuff Cynthia, as always :)

  11. Cynthia, you won't believe it, I saw this picture and had the EXACT same idea :) But you've done much much more justice to it than I could've :) Keep it up! Nice twist.

  12. Loved the way you built it up. :-) And then the killer (pun intended) punch at the end - just brilliant! Not the slightest clue along the way. Really, really good!

  13. Whoaaa you wicked girl! Fabulous job on this, Cynthia! :D

  14. ahhhh the spin how amazingly cool it was! Lovely :) by the way saw ur bio internal communications for india's most ethical group is it Tata group? Because yes then I wud say hi fi because I am in tata motors.. Lovely writing waise :)



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