F is for . . . Forgiveness

Image courtesy: Raj Manchekar

My little niños,

In your book, La Niña, F is for fan. Now that's a very useful device. No matter how tired and sweaty you are when you come in from the harsh glare of the sun, you have only to spend a few seconds under the fan to feel refreshed and relaxed.

Now the F-word that I am going to tell you about is Forgiveness and it has much the same qualities. It has the power to cleanse our hearts and rid them of filth, leaving us refreshed and calm.

Of course, this is one lesson that adults need more than children. Children are naturally pure of heart. You give me an instance of this every time I see you two together. In the course of playing, you sometimes get into a minor squabble. Both of you want the same toy. For a few minutes, there is unpleasantness. You, El Niño pull La Niña’s hair. And then you, La Niña, pinch El Niño’s cheek, before taking off with the toy. For a few minutes, you stay away from each other, but often, so often, in far less time than it has taken me to type this paragraph, I see your heads stuck together again, the offending toy thrust far away from you.

We grownups have so much to learn from you. We have been known to break friendships, turn our backs on families, and bear resentment in our hearts for years, over the slightest of causes.

Your grandma used to say squabbles were natural; cattle in a shed often butt horns with each other and let out a loud moo in protest. But after that, it is life as usual for them.

Only we humans maintain a memorandum of the hurtful things that others said or did to us, intentionally or otherwise. Only we maintain a scorecard of how many times someone has hurt us and how often we have paid them back in the same coin.

In my time, I too have been guilty of this. I have hated people for the hurt they have caused me. I have closed myself to goodness, preferring to nurture the rancour in my heart, as if it were a little one that needed to be cherished.

The heart, my darlings, was meant to hold love and affection. It was never meant to be a portable garbage bin, filled with hurts and slights, resentments and malice, that fester and putrefy, searing our souls while we wallow in the illusion that it is burning their insides.

Never forget, mis niños, even when you are older and wiser that we all need forgiveness. And so we must be quick to pardon others, cover the hurt they have caused us with a handkerchief. Who knows? In the eyes of God, we might need a circus tent to cover our own.

If you must maintain a memoranda or a scorecard, make a note of the kindnesses that people do for you.

My wish for you is that when someone hurts you, you may choose to walk on, without letting the burden of that hurt to weigh you down. That if you cannot forgive and forget, you will at least forgive and move on.

I pray that you may realise that when you choose to forgive and let go, you release Pain, your fellow prisoner in the prison that is of your own making, and you invite healing to take its place.

That's it for today. We've learned so much this week, haven't we? Now it is time to give these pages a short rest. A field that has rested gives a bountiful crop, I've heard it said. May our hearts and minds too return fortified from the well deserved break. 

Until Monday,

Much Love,

Mamma